Some people are crazy.

So I'm directing this show, 4.48 Psychosis by Sarah Kane. [WARNING: I'm about to pimp this shit.] It runs December 2-4 and 9-12 at Art Six (424 Bryan) in Denton, Texas. If you're around, you should see it. I love Sarah Kane, but some people don't. I understand it, particularly if you only read her early work. It's easy to read it as "shock for shock's sake," but I don't see it that way. I think you can find real humanity and hope in her work, as well as some deep, raw, depressing emotions that should ring true for every person, regardless of whether you've ever felt depression.

Woah. That last sentence was not grammatically correct. But you know what I'm saying. ANYWAY. Enough with that. I'm still here to talk about Sarah Kane... but only because in my research, I found some SUPER FUCKING CRAZY people who love her. These people are the reason why people don't like Sarah Kane. Let me show what you what I've found. (NOTE: These are from discussion boards. I've redacted any names to protect the insane.)

Ever since i read 4.48 i have been thinking how i would stage it.
I'd begin casually by passing a kitten around the audience. They would play with the cat and see how cute it is. The curtains would open reveling a complex stage including a huge clock that didnt tell the time but instead counted towards 04.48. From the clock would be a series of wires and car batteries connected to a metal cage. The kitten would then be put in the cage. The play would start at 3.48 and the finish exactly at 4.48. at 4.48 the kitten would be electrocuted which the audience would be made aware of as the play went on.
The kitten would put the audience on edge throughout the performance. "Will the kill the cat?" "Is this legal?" "Should i walk out?" "should i call the police?". The cat is a metaphor for suffering and metal illness. What better way of showing depression than showing death a poisoned minds. An actual play involving real danger, real fear.
And at 4.48 - would i actually kill the cat?
Maybe
...yeah i think i would. Call me sick but i think that would be real art. REAL theatre.

Um. WHAT?!? Now, I'm a person who thinks that theatre (or really, art in general) is all about opinion; if someone says it's theatre, it's theatre. It's just a matter of whether it's good or bad theatre IN YOUR OPINION. So, based on that, I'd go ahead and say that the above statement would be bad theatre. ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO KILL A CAT?!?! Also, what does "real theatre" even mean? Crazy. Crazy person. Speaking of crazy...

Imagine, if you will...... colostomy bags bursting, drip feeds crashing, sh*t everywhere, teeth falling away, tumors oozing, pools of stinking opulence.

Oh, I'm imagining it. I'm also imagining your CRAZY, CRAZY FACE. Are we reading the same play? Maybe I'm the one who is confused, because this next guy thought that this would be a good image:

cartoon of a head with a dotted line across the neck with CUT HERE written beside it and the sign of a pair of scissors or a cutting knife beside it

Well, of course. OF COURSE there would be a CARTOON onstage for a show about suicide. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?

Sigh. Listen, all you theatre people: when you choose to produce something just to SHOCK people, it'll suck. If there are shocking images in a production that you TRULY believe in staging, then it's worth doing. Good theatre always has heart behind it.

I don't really have anywhere to go with this blogsby. I just couldn't believe these batshit people, and had to share. So come see my show! It'll be kinda crazy, but in a good way. Not in a "I'ma kill a cat, bitches" way.

What do women want?

There was recently a trending hashtag (that shouldn't ever be a phrase... "trending hashtag"? WHAT is that?) on Twitter (I mean, think about 5 years ago - saying "trending hashtag on Twitter" would get you committed to a psych ward) that was #whatwomenwant. Also, #whatdowomenwant, apparently (I thought it was #whatwomenwant, but I just copy/pasted the hashtag on my Twitter, and I now realize both were being used).  Most of the people I followed were tweeting or retweeting (DUDE, don't even get me started on the verb "tweet" and its related words, because I hate myself whenever I say it or write it) obnoxiously sexist posts. I, in my infinite feminism (and PMS-related emotions), became enraged. So here were my responses:


For men to shut the fuck up about THEIR FEELINGS.
For men to have a period just once in their lives.
For men to have babies. YOU DEAL WITH IT.
For men to understand that all vaginas look different. Your penis is disappointing too, but at least we don't say anything.


So... yeah. Perhaps a slight overreaction. Or is it? I mean... I probably have, at some point in my life, wanted all 4 of those things to happen. Unfortunately, what happens is this: men can write "pithy" sayings about what women want, but by me flipping the switch, I'm some sort of hateful bitch. I HATE IT. I can't get angry about things without people making it about my gender. 


I felt like this blog was going somewhere when I started it. Clearly, it is not. I've gotten caught up in job applications and a marathon of Psych. So I'll just end this with a list of what I want.


1. For James Roday (of Psych) to tone himself a little. He's got MOOBS (tiny ones, but they're there) in season 4! Okay, I understand that people don't need to be crazy fit all the time. But I'm superficial, and James Roday is eye candy, so he needs to BRING IT. Also, it's like I'm doing a gender reversal! Yeah, DUDES need to get in shape, not ladies. Or something.
2. To start having some sort of want to work out. But I think this will never happen.
3. To stop being polite, and start getting real. No, just kids. THE REAL WORLD SUCKS. Wait, I mean the show. I mean, the world does too, sometimes.
4. For Jason Garrett to turn the Cowboys around.
5. For Gloria Estefan to turn the beat around.
6. To choreograph a dance routine to "Beat It."
7. For Weird Al to get back to his hey day of "Eat It."
8. To use the term "hey day" more. Or is it "heyday"? I think I like it better as one word.
9. To make Scott Foley happen. Hey, he's gonna be on Grey's Anatomy! That's a start.
10. To be able to be an instrument virtuoso. I don't care what instrument it is. I wanna virtuo it.


This is just the beginning of what I want. There's so much more! I can't share them all with you at once, though. Why else would you keep reading this?