What do women want?

There was recently a trending hashtag (that shouldn't ever be a phrase... "trending hashtag"? WHAT is that?) on Twitter (I mean, think about 5 years ago - saying "trending hashtag on Twitter" would get you committed to a psych ward) that was #whatwomenwant. Also, #whatdowomenwant, apparently (I thought it was #whatwomenwant, but I just copy/pasted the hashtag on my Twitter, and I now realize both were being used).  Most of the people I followed were tweeting or retweeting (DUDE, don't even get me started on the verb "tweet" and its related words, because I hate myself whenever I say it or write it) obnoxiously sexist posts. I, in my infinite feminism (and PMS-related emotions), became enraged. So here were my responses:


For men to shut the fuck up about THEIR FEELINGS.
For men to have a period just once in their lives.
For men to have babies. YOU DEAL WITH IT.
For men to understand that all vaginas look different. Your penis is disappointing too, but at least we don't say anything.


So... yeah. Perhaps a slight overreaction. Or is it? I mean... I probably have, at some point in my life, wanted all 4 of those things to happen. Unfortunately, what happens is this: men can write "pithy" sayings about what women want, but by me flipping the switch, I'm some sort of hateful bitch. I HATE IT. I can't get angry about things without people making it about my gender. 


I felt like this blog was going somewhere when I started it. Clearly, it is not. I've gotten caught up in job applications and a marathon of Psych. So I'll just end this with a list of what I want.


1. For James Roday (of Psych) to tone himself a little. He's got MOOBS (tiny ones, but they're there) in season 4! Okay, I understand that people don't need to be crazy fit all the time. But I'm superficial, and James Roday is eye candy, so he needs to BRING IT. Also, it's like I'm doing a gender reversal! Yeah, DUDES need to get in shape, not ladies. Or something.
2. To start having some sort of want to work out. But I think this will never happen.
3. To stop being polite, and start getting real. No, just kids. THE REAL WORLD SUCKS. Wait, I mean the show. I mean, the world does too, sometimes.
4. For Jason Garrett to turn the Cowboys around.
5. For Gloria Estefan to turn the beat around.
6. To choreograph a dance routine to "Beat It."
7. For Weird Al to get back to his hey day of "Eat It."
8. To use the term "hey day" more. Or is it "heyday"? I think I like it better as one word.
9. To make Scott Foley happen. Hey, he's gonna be on Grey's Anatomy! That's a start.
10. To be able to be an instrument virtuoso. I don't care what instrument it is. I wanna virtuo it.


This is just the beginning of what I want. There's so much more! I can't share them all with you at once, though. Why else would you keep reading this?